I know much better than this

Cause underneath the surface

You’ve got a little snitch

An itch you can’t scratch and it’s killing you

But you know you gotta hide it or you’ll lose everything

You’ll lose the lies you’ve crafted so carefully to keep you safe from the truth.

But you’ll fall again

You’ll fall

Fucking count on it, if you have any fingers left.


You’re not one of the many

Babe, you never count sheep

You just count the women lying between your sheets

As you lie between their legs, praying to the devil for a backup plan, and hope to God

That she won’t smell the fear coming from your reeking tongue

The one you used so skillfully to bring pleasure, bring pain

It’s all the same to you now.


It’s those women – excuse me – those GIRLS

You shove out in the morning and out of your mouth

They might not roll off your tongue

But they leave imprints on your bed


I can see me in her

Just a sweet little girl

But soon you will throw her to a whole brand new world

Full of wolves in sheep’s clothing and begging false truths

The funny thing is she won’t realize it’s you


Yes, you, with your heart melting grin

The one that once made me forget all your sins

But that smile isn’t steel; it is made from weak plastic

And I’ll break it in half if I have to unmask it


Once I was the puppet, the marionette

You held onto my strings, wouldn’t let me forget

And I couldn’t run, no, never wanted to

You tugged on my strings just enough to make me want you


When I was knocked on my ass (for once, not by you)

But by sense, I soon realized what I had to do

But you noticed the spark, saw that look in my eye

So, hungry for more, you claimed what was mine


You strapped me down to her bed, of all places,

Cut open my skull without medication

You took out my brain and replaced it with mush

You rewrote my memories with a sinister touch


I knew it was wrong, watching you from below

But I couldn’t get up

There was nowhere to go


So I reached for the blade that relieved me from pain

The knife that dug deep into what was left of my brain

I stabbed it with pride; it bled out on the page

Til I noticed my heart was also to blame


Dripping and crying, tears sweat and blood

I realized my feet were still sinking in mud

I tried to escape, but you just threw me down

I was too shocked to stand up for me now


Love is a funny thing.

One minute you have it,

The next, it has you.


I feared you.


Again, I would struggle with Jezebel’s help

But Judas, my darling, you knocked me back down

To hell I had traveled, or actually been thrown

By you, the one I had claimed to have known…


For each lie you told, I shed my weak skin

And promised I’d never let it happen again

With each passing day, you weakened my spirit

That spark in my eyes wouldn’t reflect in the mirror


Your ears were shut tightly

I know it was by choice

Whenever I spoke, you heard no one’s voice

At all…


All I was to you was a hot, empty sack

Full of the things you once hadn’t lacked

You called me a psycho, you called me pathetic

But fighting for you was to be expected.


It’s funny how people believed you so long

Until they heard it from him and her and saw

For themselves the real monster

The one you could hide


It lives inside of a boy with no eyes.


When it broke the surface, I was first to know

The others found out and they knew

They understood


But who helped me?


No one. NO. ONE. NO ONE. AT. ALL.


They stood idly by

Their ignorance like daggers

The minions that watched me be torn

Into tatters


And the only tatters they cared for at all

Were the pages he wrote

the ones they would call



It’s true that those with talent are crazy.

He’s surely a talent.


Those holes that he left weren’t just in the wall

They burned through the houses, they burned through the halls

They burned through the doors, the windows, the sheets

They burned through my skin, they speared rough right through me


When that whore’s hands broke free of your illustrious games

Finally, things started to change

I left my shoes trapped in the muck deep below

Decided I wouldn’t be held anymore


But my brain was still missing

You had it in boxes

In pieces, in shatters

You’d fed it to foxes


I should have seen it coming

But you robbed me blind

A moment too late was a moment too kind


You battered my lips

You scratched out my eyes

Your gasoline kiss

Lit my skin on fire


You’d taken it once

You’d take it again

You took me quite easily

Invited yourself in


My no’s

They were twisted

Still tattered suggestions

I begged them be clearer

But I couldn’t catch them


You laughed at my eyes as they faded to black

You grinned, satisfied, as I accepted my fate

I lied down and took it

You taught me how


You knew how to lie low and take things so well

I became what you made me

You wanted me empty

You wanted a hole

That’s why you made so many…


Soon, Jezebel saved me

She called for some help

She never realized what she did as well


But I let it go, like you taught me to do

This passive looked good, as my new shade of blue

You’d taken me down, you beat me up good


But the scary part is… I wanted you to.


I wanted some proof.


I know you know what you did.

You know well what you are.

But you’ll never admit it.

Never show the scars.


You’re proud of his entry,

If there was one at all.

I’d not be surprised

If it’s what you were all along.


I fear for the future,

I promise that’s true.

I fear for her now,

And I fear for others, too.


I fear for the past and what it can do

To an empty sack of nothing

To someone like you.


You’ll teach her to love you

You’ll teach her to fall

But get up, no.

That’s not an option.

At all.


“God allows evil that good may spring from it. Who am I to question Him?”


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